


A monster for your protection

by Demon_Virgil (Asteria_Anxiety)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-05-21 17:51:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14920067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asteria_Anxiety/pseuds/Demon_Virgil
Summary: What if Virgil wasn't always Anxiety?Who was he before? And what happened to make him into the person he is now? And most of all, how did the rest of them cope with the sudden appearance of Anxiety in their group?





	1. In the beginning

Once, there was no Patton, no Logan, no Roman or Virgil. They were still there, but it would take a while before they became anything close to what we know them as today. Heck, it would take a while before they actually had names. Before them, there was Morality, Logic, Creativity and Caution. These were the four main sides, but that didn’t mean there weren’t other sides around.  
Most other sides were either too small to gain a form beyond that of a simple bubble. Or they were keeping themselves out of sight, hiding from the more dominant sides. They knew better than to interfere with them.  
For the most part, this worked out fine.  
Once in a while, a bubble would appear in the mind palace and one of the main sides would claim it, making it become a part of them and change them in some form.  
This was how Morality got the Inner Child, how Logic got Common Sense, and how Creativity got the Ego.  
Caution didn’t really take many aspects, since he felt it was his duty to take care of the others. Even though he hated how he felt like he was babysitting them at times, for the most part, he was fine with it. After all, he kept them safe, right?  
Though sometimes he preferred to watch them from afar instead of being in the middle of the action. No need to be getting in their way when there was nothing dangerous going on. This was also what he usually did when new aspects appeared. Such as the day 2 new ones appeared.

He watched as Morality went over to the big rainbow coloured one. It was shaking a bit, apparently scared of what was going to happen. Morality poked the bubble softly. A small giggle emitted from it, causing him to laugh as well. It made Morality sad that it would have to disappear, but he assured it that he would take good care of it.  
It was odd that Morality had to be the one who got Emotion, but no one else wanted it. Logic wanted nothing to do with it and Creativity had already taken plenty. In fact, he was way more interested in whatever craft he was trying to make in the corner.  
Emotion spun around Morality before entering him near his heart.  
Immediately he started to glow, tears appearing in his eyes. He quickly wiped them away, laughing a little. But when the glow stopped, you could see a huge difference in the way he looked. His polo was no longer white, but a light blue and his eyes were filled with way more emotion than before.  
If he could, he would probably make heart eyes.  
He looked over at Logic who quickly turned his head away from him. He seemed to return to his studies of a much smaller bubble that kept zooming around him. Or at least trying to study it.  
If Morality knew it right, that one was Curiosity. It didn’t seem too odd that he would be the one to claim that. After all, Curiosity could work rather nicely with Logic. At least that’s what Morality could hear him say to himself. But Logic seemed a bit uncertain about it. Maybe he thought it wouldn’t be a good idea after all? But then he nodded slightly, allowing it to enter near his head. The moment after Logic ran off, apparently, he had something he needed to look up. Morality swore that he noticed that the Logical trait’s tie had become a dark blue.  
Creativity was nowhere to be found now, probably off in the Imagination somewhere, but Morality knew that he had taken a huge aspect a long time ago. Probably one of the biggest ones.

It had been a quiet day until Thomas had walked to school and passed a cute boy. The moment his heart skipped a beat, a new bubble had appeared in the mind palace.  
At first, they were all confused by it. What did that boy mean to Thomas to make a new aspect appear?  
Logic quickly worked out what it meant and despite the fact he was the one among them with the least aspects claimed, he wanted nothing to do with it. ”I refuse to have anything to do with that…nonsense. It's not logical in any way and would not work well with me.”  
It was Romance. They had finally reached the age where Thomas would start being interested in others in this way.  
Logic could practically already feel the headache this would make.  
Before Morality could take it, Creativity had just shouted “This one is mine!!” before claiming it by jumping headfirst into it. When the bubble had disappeared, Creativity’s appearance had drastically changed. The silk scarf he used to have around his neck had become a sash on what looked like a fantasy prince’s attire. He seemed more than happy with his new outfit.  
“Wow, didn’t even think about that did you?” another side appeared, startling everyone with his sudden appearance.  
The white-clad side sighed loudly and shook his head dramatically. “Really? You forgot I was here too?” he asked jokingly.  
“N-no!! I couldn’t dream of forgetting you, Caution!” Morality stuttered. He smiled hesitantly at the newly arrived side.  
Logic and Creativity sighed in unison, both in playful annoyance. “Oh, so you’re back. I was starting to wonder where all the background noise had gone” Creativity muttered, earning him a sharp look from Morality.  
“What? He’s loud and annoying! Not the least bit helpful in a creation!” The latter remark earned him a smack from Caution.  
“I’m being loud and annoying because you keep ignoring me!”.  
“Yeah, because you’re keeping me from making anything fun!”  
“FUN?! Do you know how easily you can injure yourself with those weapons you keep summoning?!“.  
“That’s the fun part! You don’t expect me to fight dragons with a toothpick, do you?!”  
“I don’t know, I’d like to see you try! At least then you couldn’t accidentally hurt yourself or someone else!”  
The two kept yelling till Logic made them both stop before sending them both to their respective room. Creativity eyed Caution, signalling that this argument was far from over while he adjusted his sash to a better position. Caution seemed more amused than anything. He didn’t mind their little rivalry. He knew that Creativity didn’t actually hate him, even if he acted like it. He shook his head. “You’d think gaining some more grown-up traits would make him more mature. Guess that’s not the case.” Logic just shrugged at him. “I just hope he’ll take something more sensible instead of these…ridiculous traits. Then again, it would mean one of us would have to claim one of the more…questionable ones…”  
Caution played with the white string on his hoodie.  
“I guess we’ll just have to see about those” He looked calm, but his voice was shaking just a little. He didn’t like the thought of having the others take a trait that could end up changing them for good.  
Like how Creativity went from a quiet and hesitant side, who preferred to keep his creations to himself to…whatever he had become after gaining Ego. Though to be fair, he didn’t mind it. For the most part. He actually enjoyed watching Creativity be more confident in his skills. It was the times when he was being more…harsh on himself that he was worried about. He had no idea how he was supposed to handle those. “I’ll just join you tomorrow, alright Logic? Don’t stay up too late!” he said as he sank out.  
But he feared that this little rivalry of theirs was only going to be the start of something much worse.


	2. No more Caution or too much?

The sides all felt it the moment it entered. A new aspect had appeared, but it felt…wrong.  
They didn’t understand why. What could have caused a new aspect to appear so suddenly?  
Caution had been the first at the scene. It was a lot bigger than Romance had been and that was one of the biggest ones they all had seen. As soon as the 3 others were there, it started moving. But not in the way all the others had. It seemed to be made of pure negativity. In all its gross glory.  
Instead of floating, it crawled, leaving small bits of it as it moved. All of them moved away from it, Morality clinging to Caution, clearly afraid of it. “I-it’s like a huge spider or something!” he stuttered, hiding his face in Caution’s hoodie.  
When the blob crawled over to Logic, he avoided it with grace. He didn’t look scared at all, but rather fascinated. Morbid curiosity. If it wasn’t moving, he would probably have poked it and examined it.  
It turned around, heading towards Creativity instead. He looked at it with obvious disgust, summoning his sword that had come with his new princely attire.  
He let out a loud battle-cry before he stabbed it, grinning as he lifted the sword in victory. “See, no need to be sca-“ He started to say before he noticed that it was now moving towards him, not even caring that it had been hit. Dragging itself up his sword slowly like some inky octopus. Creativity let out a startled yelp before he threw it off towards a wall.  
It gave a disgusting plop once it hit.  
“It’s not going to stop till one of us claims it! Someone has to take it!” Caution stated, trying to stay calm, but it was obvious he was scared too. Morality clung even harder to him, shivering.  
“Well I don’t care what it is, I am not taking that thing!” Creativity yelled from across the room.  
Everyone looked at Logic, who frowned. “You have to be crazy if you think I’ll take that…monstrosity!” he said, making it clear that he had no intentions of changing his mind.  
Morality gulped. “I-I’ll take it…” he whispered, as he moved towards it. The negativity seemed to sense his intentions and crawled towards him, tendrils appearing the closer it got.

But, the moment it could have touched him, Caution pushed him out of the way.  
“Caution NO!!!” Morality yelled, both in shock and in horror as the thing started to crawl up and consume him.  
He couldn’t let take Morality. He wouldn’t let it touch him, he wouldn’t let it corrupt him.  
The moment the negativity touched him, he went cold and he couldn’t help shivering as it took a hold of his mind. Terrible images of bad scenarios flashed before his inner eye. Caution wanted to throw up, wanted to hide, wanted to curl up in a fetal position, he wanted to cry. But he knew it was for the best. Better him than them. He was the one who could afford to take it. Logic couldn’t use it, it would hinder Creativity and destroy Morality. The negativity started to settle into his skin, sinking in, surrounding him till he couldn’t see the other sides anymore.  
He felt it climb into his mouth, making his throat feel dry as it slid down. Caution couldn’t stand anymore, so he fell to his knees. He could slightly feel the others around him, but he couldn’t see. The only sound he could hear was his own heartbeat, pounding at an insane rate.  
All feelings except for utter fear was gone from his mind. It felt as if he had been drained for all happiness and in it’s place was feelings of terror and shadows. Thoughts of insane worry started forming in his head.  
Then, the cold feeling disappeared. He could see again, he could hear again.  
The others looked at him in worry. Like they should.  
He stood up, the other sides backed away. Were they afraid of him now? How ironic.  
“Caution, are you alright?” Creativity asked. The side before them laughed grimly. Was he alright? That was probably the least that could describe how he felt now.  
“Caution? I think you might be mistaken. I’m not Caution. Not anymore. He’s gone…. I am Anxiety, and you better not forget that… Princey.” He said, his voice sounded gravelly and strained. Like it took effort for him to actually get the words out. Creativity glared at him with newfound hatred. “Wow, I thought you were bad before but this is SO much worse!” he declared theatrically before sinking out, sending Anxiety a dirty look. Logic simply observed Anxiety as he looked around the room with a new fear in his eyes, as if he expected something to jump out at him any time.

Morality teared up and tried to hug him, but Caution, now Anxiety, avoided him with a slight hiss tearing itself from his mouth. Wait, had he gained shadows under his eyes?  
“Don’t touch me!” he growled at him, making Morality cry even more. The sight of it made Anxiety feel bad, but the feeling of anxiety was overpowering everything. He had to get away, he had to get away NOW! It wasn’t safe here. “But kiddo…” he sobbed.  
Before he could say anything else, whether if it was words of comfort or a beg to stay, Anxiety sank out of the room.  
“Well, this was certainly…interesting…” Logic mumbled, seeming confused. “So I guess that…thing was Fear. But normally it wouldn’t take over an entire side like this, just modify them.”  
Morality looked up at him. “Will he be okay? He looked so scared! It’s my fault he’s like this!” he cried. “Well, it’s likely he won’t be able to recall his previous identity as Caution, so I would advise to at least be careful around him. Whatever Fear did to him, it seems to be rather powerful and it might be something we don’t know the full extents of” Logic was talking more to himself than Morality, and Morality wasn’t really listening. His mind was other places.  
Anxiety. The new side. Caution was gone. What could possibly come of this…


	3. New names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After not seeing Anxiety for days, any distraction is welcome. Even ones that might change a key part of their identity apparently.

“You want us to have what?” Logic looked at Creativity with obvious shock in his eyes, dropping his book. It landed on the floor with a loud thud, closing on him.  
 “You heard me! I thought we should have actual proper names! I mean, we’re all clearly embodying more than Logic, Morality and Creativity by now. I have Thomas’s hopes and dreams, his Ego, his Imagination and so much more!”  
He pointed at the moral side who was sitting beside Logic.  “Morality over there is both the Dad, the Inner Child and the Emotions and you have his Curiosity, Knowledge and Authority! Can’t you see how much easier it would make things?” Creativity was excited about his newfound idea. Plus, part of him was tired of how long their names could be. Having proper names would make things a lot easier!  
Creativity didn’t even know how he had never thought of it till now. Then again, he had worked non-stop since the whole thing with Caution happened.  
They hadn’t seen him for days now, so any distraction was welcome at this point.  
  
Morality seemed unable to sit still, clearly excited about the new idea. “This is a really neat idea and I absolutely would not mind having one! What about you Logic?” he said happily, silently hoping that the logical trait would agree.  
Logic sighed and adjusted his glasses.  
“While I can see the potential in having names, we’re not people. As merely parts of Thomas’s personality, it seems rather preposterous for us. And as such we do not need proper names.” He said dryly, but he seemed to already be interested in the idea despite denying them needing it.  
Creativity frowned. “Oh come on, you have to admit that it would fit us a lot more than the ones we have now!”  
Logic looked back and forth from Morality to Creativity, both looking at him, pleading.  
“Please? Please Logic?”  
“Fine, but on the condition that I get to choose my own. I do not trust Creativity to give me a very suitable na-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence before he got tackled into by Morality. “Yay!! I knew I could count on you, Logic!” he laughed.  
“Okay, okay. That’s enough for all of this…affection, Morality. Please get off me now.” Logic could barely hide his smile despite trying to sound as indifferent as he could.  
“Guys, I already have found the perfect name for myself! I’ve been thinking about it all morning! Are you ready to hear it?” Creativity gushed, clearly unable to keep his excitement in for long.  
Morality quickly got off Logic, basically vibrating in as much excitement. “Let’s hear it, kiddo!”  
Creativity took in a deep breath, holding the suspense for just a bit.  
  
 “I chose Roman! Isn’t it great!? Because of romance and romanticism! It’s like it was made for me!”    
Logic gave him a thoughtful glance. “I can see it fitting you for multiple reasons. Not as bad as I had expected. Short and not too complicated”  
“I know!! Hey Crea-I mean Roman! I love it already!” Morality hugged Creativity, or rather Roman.  
The creative side nodded confidently, hiding a slight blush as he heard the moral side use his new name. “So please call me that from this point forward. I’m sure we’re all going to enjoy this, I know I am!” he grinned.  
“I suppose it’s my turn then.” Logic said, smiling softly.  
“You already found yours? Tell us!” Morality jumped excitedly, enjoying it all.  
“I choose Logan.” He said, earning a small gasp from the two other present sides. “It’s clear and to the point. No need for long explanations for meaning, unlike Roman” he stated, affection for his new name clearly leaking through.  
“Hey! My name fits me. Besides yours barely changed, but it’s a name, so I’ll let it slide! It fits you, Logan” Roman chuckled. Logan couldn’t help but smile, clearly liking the sound of it.  
“Can I say mine now? I just thought of one that can fit with both of those!” Morality exclaimed, looking more than ready to just burst it out.  
“Well, I didn’t really plan for us to have to fit together, but go ahead, padre”  
Morality looked around a bit nervous, apparently, he wasn’t too certain about his name after all. “What do you guys think about Patton?”  
Logan looked over at him surprised. “Did you choose that after the appeal to emotions, Pathos? That is an interesting choice I never would have expected from you.”  
“No? But that just makes it more fitting! It just seemed fun to say and I just like it! Plus now I finally have a name for that game I told you about ages ago!” Logan looked over at Roman, who simply shrugged his shoulders, apparently just as confused as he was about what the moral side was talking about. Patton didn’t seem to notice the confusion, content with his name, while Roman and Logan just agreed not to ask.  
  
A sound from the top of the stairs made them snap out of their confusion. Roman quickly ran over the stairs, determined to catch who or what was up there, but only caught a shadow dashing away from the stairs.  
“What was that? Was someone listening in on our names? How rude!” he said, clearly feeling offended that someone unwanted now knew of his idea of having names.  
“Well, if we’re done with this, can I return to my work? I can’t believe you pulled me away from it for something so silly.” Logan grumbled, sinking out.  
“See you later Logan! Love the name!” Patton quickly shouted after him before he was gone, earning another small smile from the logical side.  
He looked over at Roman, giggling happily.  
“It was an amazing idea! A shame we’ll never know what Caution would have chosen…” his happy demeanor faded as the words left his mouth.  
Roman shrugged. “Knowing him, he probably wouldn’t even have chosen anything” he looked away from Patton.  
He refused to get into an argument with him right now, not right after that Patton seemed to have accepted what happened.  He still remembered him desperately knocking on Caution’s door.  
Patton had always been the one who was closest with him, and Roman still didn’t understand what sort of relationship they had.  
Anxiety never even as much as gave a sound. For all they knew, he could just as well not exist anymore. Or didn’t care about them anymore, not even his closest friend. He had chosen some new friends now.  
Roman shook his head. No, he was not going to think about that guy now, he wasn’t worth his anger. At least not yet. After all, he had a lot to work on!  
“Well, that was fun! Want to help me with something else, Patton?” he said, determined to try and lighten the mood.  
Patton smiled a little, appreciating his consideration. “No thanks, kiddo. I think I need a moment to myself. Maybe I’ll come a bit later, just start without me!” he tried his best to be happy.  
“Well, if you do, see you later, Pat” he said, sinking out and getting a playful pout from Patton. “Barely 10 minutes and I’m already getting nicknames! You’re unbelievable!”  
“Hey, I’m Creativity! Nicknames is sort of my thing!” he shouted back before he was completely gone.  
  
But little did they know that they made another side find a name to use for himself. One they wouldn't find out till way later.


	4. A (k)night meetup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sides aren't sure how to handle Caution being gone, some deals with it better than others. However, it would seem that what he became is still lurking somewhere, out of sight of the others.

To say that Roman didn’t like Anxiety would be an understatement. And he didn’t care if the others knew it. No, in fact, he was more than happy to let them know all the reasons why they shouldn’t trust him.  
Most of all because they had no idea what he was like. Heck, it seemed like he was even going out of his way to avoid them now.  
Not that he minded. If he had been around it would have been hard for Roman to not cut him down just for existing and breathing near them.  
Caution had always been such a worrier.  
He’d been the one to tear play doh out of Patton’s hands once he noticed he was trying to eat it. Been the one to remind Logan to give himself breaks because he thought he didn’t need any. And he had been the one who not only made sure that Roman didn’t stay up past 3 am to create whatever he had set his mind on.  
In short, he had been the one who took care of all of them. And he didn’t seem to mind it.  
But now, he was gone. And Roman hated to admit this, but he missed him already. Not to mention, Anxiety actually freaked him out a little.  
Not that he was going to tell that to the others!  
  
Logan on the other hand, seemed to not mind the lack of their fourth member. That was until Roman looked closer on the books he was reading and noticed it was all about fears and anxiety.  
“Trying to learn something about him, nerd-brain?” he teased as he stood in front of Logan, hoping to at least get some form of reaction out of the Logical side.  
However, his attempt failed as Logan simply kept reading, ignoring him. He smirked before he started poking the logical side’s newly acquired glasses. Logan simply brushed his hand away.  
Roman pouted and walked behind the couch Logan was sitting on before picking the book out of his hands. Logan gasped in surprise and then scoffed in annoyance as he realized what just happened.  
“Cre- Roman, if you’re not going to help me find information on this “Anxiety”, then why not go help Patton with whatever…bakery he’s doing in the kitchen. Go make yourself useful for once.”  
Roman made an offended sound.  
“How dare you insinuate that I’m not useful, Logan! I’ll let you know that I’m the reason Thomas has such a great imagination!” he boasted.  
“Which I believe is the opposite of helpful in regard to his studies. Now are you going to keep hindering me from studying or are you going to go away and be a nuisance elsewhere?” Logan gave Roman a stern look as he yanked the book out of the other side’s hands and sat back down.  
The creative trait just stuck his tongue out at him in a childish manner, making Logan roll his eyes in return.  
 “I swear, since you gained the Ego, you’ve been so intolerable! Can’t you just grow up!?” he growled to himself as Roman walked away.  
  
Patton poked his head up in surprise as Roman entered the kitchen. “Oh hey kiddo! Want to help me decorate these cookies? They’re your favorite~” he said joyfully. His cardigan had moved from worn properly to being tied around his shoulders.  
Roman laughed softly. “You’ve really begun to like doing this a lot lately, haven’t you, padre? If I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to distract yourself”  
Patton’s smile was gone the instant the words left Roman’s mouth, letting the princely side realize he had hit the problem right on.  
“You’re right…I can’t help but feel bad for Anxiety! He’s never around anymore and I’m getting…worried. He used to take care of us, and now he’s just gone. Like he never existed…” he looked down, quickly placing a fresh batch of cookies on the counter before he could drop it.  
Roman’s looked away with an agitated huff.  
“He’s not one of us, Patton. It would be better to just not think of him at all. He’s not Caution. He said so himself. He’s gone. I know you cared deeply for him, I did too. But this guy? He’s not him. We don’t even know if we can even consider him a proper side…or a monster…that took away the very balance that kept us together.” He finished his vent, still looking away from Patton.  
“Roman! That’s not very nice! We haven’t even seen him since that day. For all we know, he might just be scared of-“  
“Scared? Of us? Patton, he literally pushed you away when you tried to comfort him. He didn’t even as much as give a sound when you tried to talk to him! We know he’s based on fear, so he can’t be trusted. Who knows what he’s planning in the time we haven’t seen him. He’s probably even spending time with those unknown sides, plotting revenge against us!” he yelled angrily.  
Patton slowly scooted away from Roman. He clearly looked uncomfortable with the other side present.  
Roman looked at Patton with regret in his eyes. He didn’t mean to make the moral side upset, but the damage had already been done. “Patton I’m-“  
“Please, get out. I can finish these on my own.” Patton spoke with no emotion in his voice, but Roman had learned from experience to not push him further. After all, he was also the source of emotions now. Meaning if he got angry, he would be very hard to calm down. And he was very close to bursting into a wild fury right now.  
Without any more words, he sank back into his own part of the mind palace.  
Apparently, no one shared his distaste for this new side. Well, Logan seemed to not trust him, but he was still willing to research the guy.  
And Patton, well, he didn’t seem to be able to let go of Caution and see the truth. Why could no one see that this ‘Anxiety’ was a bad sign?

  
Roman lost count of how long he paced in his room, stewing in his own thoughts and occasionally throwing a bad idea into the trash. The next time he looked at a clock, it was already past 3 am.  
Crap, how long had he been doing this!? He should sleep!  
Actually on second thought, maybe not.  
His brain was still working in full gear, producing theories and ideas for different shows, but he felt the need to go grab a snack or something. At a time like this, there was no way to run into Patton or Logan and get smacked for it. Well, smacked by Logan. Patton tended to show his disappointment verbally than physically. Thank goodness for that.  
He stretched as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen, having decided that he’d much rather walk than sink in.  
It was rare, but hey, sometimes you just need a change of scenery.  
But as he turned to the kitchen, he came to see a faint light on the wall just outside it. And in that light, he could see a monstrous shadow. Claws, fangs, just terrifying. Roman quickly covered his mouth to muffle the scream that that starting to come out. There was no way he was letting a…monster hear him. And let it know that he was scared. He summoned his sword, just in case and braced himself for attack.  
Then, he went into the kitchen. Slowly, but steadily he moved closer to whatever was in there. He heard it move! Rustling in the fridge.  
Now he could see it! There was something right in front of the fridge, taking food from in there. But now it seemed to be no bigger than him. And it looked…human.  
  
Wait, did he just catch Patton having sneaked out of bed for another cookie? Roman laughed to himself as he let the sword disappear.  
“Geez, Patton, you scared me! I almost cut you down!” he said, putting his hand on the other side’s shoulder.  
Said other side jumped as soon he touched him, turning around quicker than Roman thought anyone could possibly move. And in the faint light, he recognized the side in front of him.  
Dark hoodie over his head, shadows under his eyes, a look of pure fear in them, like a deer caught in headlights. This wasn’t Patton.  
This was Anxiety.  
  
“You. I should have known!” Roman said, backing away slightly. Anxiety was shaking, looking around while backing away from him with quick movements. Was he getting ready to attack him? “What are you doing in our fridge?! Why do you keep avoiding us? What are you planning to do, you monster!?” he yelled as Anxiety moved away from him, mumbling something he couldn’t hear completely.  
“What was that?” he asked, getting ready to summon his sword any moment, should it be needed.  
“I-I said I was just hungry. I haven’t eaten in ages.” Anxiety’s voice was still low, but now it was loud enough for Roman to hear.  
He looked so scared, Roman had never seen so much fear in another person. Or side for that matter. Before the princely side could ask further, he sank out with whatever food he had managed to get before being interrupted.  
He wasn’t sure what to think of it. Roman grumbled before taking a snack and heading back to his own room.  
This seemed rather suspicious.  
A voice nearby agreed in a soft slithering whisper.


	5. The Anxious Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton decides to pay Anxiety a visit. However, it turns out that Anxiety might not be the only one using that room.

“You can’t be serious, Patton! We’re not certain what his room can do to another side! For all we know it could just an empty void and you’d get stuck! Do I need to remind you how detrimental that can be to you, let alone us and Thomas!” Logan was shaking, starting to get frustrated with the moral side. Normally he wouldn’t show that side of himself, but Patton was always the one to get him to that point that he couldn’t help but be like this.  
  
Because Patton refused to listen, looking away from him. “Logan, I want to talk to him. If he won’t come out, then maybe if I come to him I can work some things out! It’ll be fine! Or are you scared that you were wrong about him?” he insisted. It was hard for him to not get angry and start yelling. Normally he didn’t want to argue with the other sides, but this wasn’t a normal situation. And Roman wasn’t willing to listen to him either.  
He was too busy being mad at Anxiety to even consider the guy’s own feelings. Patton didn’t want this to keep going and if none of those two was going to attempt to change things, then he would.  
As he started sinking out, Logan grabbed onto his arm, keeping him from leaving. He looked up at the logical side in confusion. “Logan, let go of me. I know you’re worried about me, but I doubt he’d want to harm me.” He looked into Logan’s eyes, seeing them being a lot shinier than they usually were.  
Patton smiled softly. “We may not get along most of the time and you may or may not hate me, but I’m still glad we have you.” Logan sighed, letting go of him and simply watched as he left the commons to sink into unknown territory. He made a mental note to check up on Patton later, just in case.  
  
Patton didn’t know what he had expected Anxiety’s room to be like. After all, he had been in there before, well, before he was Anxiety that is. Back then, it had been a simple room. Nothing big or extravagant. Just a plain room with a bed, desk, a tv and a soft light leaving nothing to be dark. Caution had preferred not to be in there much due to having to keep them all safe. More often than not, he had used the commons as his room.  
But now?  
Now the room was nothing but darkness and no light in sight. He couldn’t even see his own hand when he held it in front of him. And it didn’t help the fact that he felt watched. Like someone was staring him down with as much hatred as they could. “Anxiety? You in here? I know you may not like me being here, but I just want to talk!” he called out, feeling slightly nervous, but keeping his voice optimistic.  
No answer.  
He decided to move further into the room, feeling his way to avoid bumping into anything. Which he strangely didn’t. Just how big was this place?? “Anxiety? Please come out so we can talk! You know I don’t like being in the dark, kiddo” he called again, this time a bit louder.  
Still no answer.  
  
No wait, did he just hear someone whisper? Patton stood still for a moment.  
There it was again! There was definitely someone whispering, but he couldn’t tell where it came from. It just sounded like it came from everywhere at once.  
No, it didn’t come from the outside. It felt as if the words got spoken inside his own skull. A shiver went down his spine as the feeling of being watched got stronger and a scared laugh escaped his mouth.  
He just wanted to run the heck out of there right now, but he couldn’t. Not before he’d at least had the chance to try to make things better.  
‘It’ll be okay Patton’ he thought to himself, trying his best to keep calm even though his heart was starting to beat faster. ‘It’s Anxiety’s room, it was bound to be at least a bit…different in here…it might just be some nearby echoes from downstairs!’ He kept reassuring himself and moving forward.  
Then, he heard something move nearby and Patton swore he just saw something even darker than the darkness run in front of him. “Anxiety, if you want to make me scared, you’ve succeeded” he whispered.  
  
Someone giggled, and the whispers started to get louder and now he could hear what they were saying. They were talking about him. Him and Anxiety.  
  
**_Poor Morality, so scared and alone~_**  
  
**_We were so c_ _lose to getting him. But instead we got that annoying Anxiety~_**  
  
**_He doesn’t even know what he walked into~_**  
  
Patton stumbled further into the room, not sure where he was going now. The room seemed to go on for forever! If only he had brought a flashlight, but it was too late to go get one now.  
He started shivering, but he didn’t care. It was fine if he was afraid. Anxiety would show up anytime soon! He could feel the area under his eyes sting.  
“I-I don’t know who you are, but you better not hurt Anxiety!” he said, trying his best to sound brave. The voices laughed, mocking his tone.  
  
_**Hurt him? Are you sure you should even bother trying to save him? You can’t even save yourself~**_  
  
_**Foolish Morality, always s** **o optimistic. I’d love to take him down a peg and see how much he smiles after that~**_  
  
_**Seems like he needs a lesson in fear~**_  
  
He backed in the way he thought he came, but only met a wall. Looks like he had finally found the end of the room.  
Something crawled over his foot, something big. A loud gasp of terror tore its way out his throat as it started crawling up his leg, almost like a spider. He tried to shake it off, but it refused to let go.  
He shook harder, almost to the point of falling and it seemed to finally let go. His heart was starting to beat faster and faster, he could even hear it pumping in his ears now. He could tell that whatever was in the room with him was getting closer to him now, their mocking laughs getting louder.  
He desperately wanted to get out, but he couldn’t sink out! Then, he felt something grab onto his hand, something that felt like a slimy vine or tentacle. Patton stifled a scream as he pulled his hand back and ran. He didn’t care if he hit anything, he just needed to get out. The voices just kept on mocking his attempt to get away.  
  
_**Trying to run? You’re more foolish than I thought~**_  
  
_**Don’t you know you can’t outrun your own fears?~**_  
  
_**That monster Anxiety can’t save you now~**_  
  
_**He abandoned you~ Just like how he abandoned everything else~**_  
  
_**Give up! And join us~**_  
  
_**Or we’ll just TAKE what we want!~** _  
  
But he didn’t get far before he fell over his own feet and landed on the cold floor. No, that wasn’t the only thing that was cold. Everything in here was getting colder!  
He could even see his own breath, even though he couldn’t a moment ago. And then he realized that his eyes had gotten used to the dark in the room. He looked back and saw what looked to be huge vines of even darker shadows, twisting and turning in odd directions.  
The more Patton looked at them, the more they seemed to look like people to him. People made of solid shadow.  
Laughing. Growling. Hissing. Mocking.  
He couldn’t go anywhere, he was all alone, he was so scared, so cold! And they were starting to surround him.  
Getting closer...  
  
Closer…  
  
Closer…  
  
“ ** ~~Morality!!~~** ” a voice cut through Patton’s fear as the outline of another side tore its way through the fear. Did Logan come after him after all? Or did he send Roman?  
A purple blur appeared around him and the other side. A bubble? No wait, it was a… shield? It was surrounding him and the other side who had come to his rescue, lighting up the room in the process.  
Not that it helped much, since now they could see their attackers much clearer. The bubble lifted off the ground, causing Patton to lose his footing and hit the bottom of it. The shadows slammed against it, but it didn’t budge, not even as much as moved. They growled and hissed in anger and frustration.  
His saviour let out a growl in return. “ ~~ **Leave him alone! It’s me you want!**~~ ”  
  
Patton let out a soft sigh of relief as they started disappearing and he could feel the room getting warmer. The shielding bubble that had surrounded them disappeared instantly. He felt lightheaded and his vision got blurry as he fell to the floor once again, losing his glasses.  
As he looked up he could just barely see what appeared to be glowing purple eyes looking at him. “ ~~ **No no no! Why did you come in here?!**~~ ” the other side spoke in a voice that sounded almost demonic, but it was scared.  
So very scared. And protective of him.  
Patton felt hands pick him up gently. He could just make out the shape of something dark grey in front of him. “I..had to…Anxiety…was worried…” he murmured. His mind felt so foggy…  
He felt something wet fall onto him. Was his savior…crying? “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you…” he whispered as he wiped the tears away from the other side. He was shaking so much that Patton could feel that he was struggling to carry him.  
Patton held onto him tightly as to not fall down.  
  
The side who was carrying him started moving and the sudden light blinded Patton so much that it took the rest of his already bad vision. He could feel the other side place him on something soft and comfortable.  
All the fear was gone and had been replaced with a recognizable soft nostalgia. The stinging under his eyes was gone completely. He was back in his room and he could hear the soft footsteps of the other side around him. All he could see was the faint outline of a person standing over him and feel a rough hand caressing his face in a very gentle manner.  
Almost as if they were afraid of breaking him. “ ~~ **Don’t ever do that to me again, okay? I thought you were going to die in there. Or get lost. What if I had never found you!? I couldn’t stand losing you…the others need you…**~~ ” The other side sounded upset, but not at him. At himself.  
Patton reached up, hoping to touch some part of the other person with him and felt soft fabric under his fingers. If he had been able to see, he’d probably see the other side smile as they took his hand into theirs, holding it close to the other side’s chest. “Promise me, Patton. Promise me, that you’ll never make me that scared again.” the voice was begging him, and it was starting to lose the demonic sound.  
It sounded recognizable now. Patton understood who had saved him now and he couldn’t be happier. He had found him. His mission hadn’t failed completely after all.  
Patton smiled and nodded. “I promise…” he whispered before he passed out completely.


	6. Arguments and Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Logan starts to argue and causes a certain someone to appear to settle things. But things doesn't go as planned.

Days went by with nothing major happening. Well, that wasn’t completely true.  
After Patton’s little adventure into Anxiety’s room, he had gotten a lot more persistent with trying to get him to come out and talk. Least to say, he wasn’t successful.  
At first.  
Patton had gotten the idea of trying to cook food for him. “He’s all alone in there, who knows if he gets anything proper to eat!” he had said, while simultaneously almost burning the pasta he was trying to make. But instead of summoning Anxiety, he got Roman to finally come out of his fantasies. Lately, he had been going on adventures a lot with someone he called a friend. Patton was a bit worried about this friend, as it seemed they just made things worse for Roman, rather than better. But every time he had tried to ask about this friend, Roman had dismissed him, telling him that he trusted this fellow and that he shouldn’t worry.

“What in the name of Mickey Mouse’s missing whiskers are you trying to do, Pat?!” he exclaimed as soon as he appeared, startling Logan before he could start his scolding. The logical side facepalmed and just pointed his hand at Patton, standing with a sizzling bowl of pasta in his hands, smiling proudly at his new creation.  
“It appears that Patton has gotten the outrageous idea to try and make food for Anxiety since he never comes out of his room, at least as far as we’re certain. And he completely seems to miss the fact that WE ARE NOT HUMAN. We do not need material food or drinks in order to stay alive. We can consume it, but it is not needed. Therefore, it is silly to think Anxiety will starve.” He explained, causing Patton to pout as he noticed the slightly belittling tone in Logan’s voice.  
“It’s not because I think he’ll starve, Logan. It’s more about the thought behind it! Think about it! It’ll show that we care about him, that he’s still a part of us, even if he’s a bit more…gloomy now” he said, voice slowly fading as he saw the two other sides staring at him.

A bad feeling started spreading through the kitchen, one that Patton was already way too familiar with by now. The feelings of annoyance and disbelief was getting stronger and stronger by the moment. Patton wanted to sink out of the room right away before they all started arguing, again. Something they had been doing more and more lately.  
He looked down at the bowl, biting his lip in thought. To be perfectly honest, he didn’t even know if Anxiety liked that type of food, if he even ate at all!  
Some of them enjoyed doing it, like him and Roman, while others thought it a bit silly, like Logan. In fact, Logan almost seemed to be annoyed when they were doing things that seemed to be more human. Before he had become Anxiety, Caution hadn’t eaten either and seemed to be scared of the others choking on it. But it wasn’t like he had actively been against it like Logan had been. What did Logan have against it anyway?

Patton snapped out of his thoughts, only to find that Logan and Roman were well into shouting at each other yet again, seemingly not even noticing him being there anymore.  
“You’re such a stuck-up nerd that I can’t even see anything past your glasses! I’m surprised that tie isn’t choking you to death!!”  
“We’re not real and you know it, so it wouldn’t even conceivably be possible! But I suppose you wouldn’t know that with your head so far up in your a-“

“Stop. Right now. That’s the third shouting match in the past 2 days!” a voice said from the top of the stairs, surprising everyone present.  
Patton smiled and waved at Anxiety who slowly went down the stairs, taking time to make sure he didn’t slide down. He glared at them all as he leaned against the wall in front of them. “To think that I have to be the one to stop this.” He said, sighing loudly in annoyance as he pinched his nose. “You would think that the sides of Logic and Creativity would be smarter than this, but then again, you two have never liked each other, have you?” his voice got threateningly low.  
“I guess I just have to do what I always did, keep an eye on you. Maybe that’s what you wanted, maybe it’s not. Too bad, because I. Am. Done. With this headache inducing shouting. It’s not making you get any closer to a solution, it’s not making the mood here any better. Believe me, I could literally feel it all the way to my room and it is not helping me get more used to being like this.” Anxiety finished his speech with another glare, though it seemed to soften when it came to Patton.

Silence fell over all of them. Anxiety looked from Roman to Logan and back and both seemed try not to let a shiver go down their spine. Roman sent a glare back at Anxiety and was the one to finally break the silence. “Oh, so now you’re suddenly not scared anymore, huh! Trying to act like we can just go back to the way things were before you became a monster?! Do you hope that by intimidating us, we’ll just do your bidding?!” he shouted, taking a stance like he usually did with his sword, except it was sans the sword. Patton got in the way between them before Roman would try to leap at him or something.  
“Roman! That’s not nice! He’s right, though. But starting another fight is not going to help anything! Please, calm down. I’m sure if we just-“  
“No, I will NOT calm down! He’s been sneaking around, stealing food, probably stalking us and now he all of the sudden wants to be a leader?! No, I will not take this lying down anymore! This is way too fishy to just be a sudden desire to be with us again. I bet he’ll just try to break us down from the inside when we start to trust him!”  
Roman’s shouts got Anxiety to back up, clearly looking hurt by the claims Roman was just slinging out at him.  
“And I thought I was paranoid…” he mumbled, starting to sink out, but stopping when Logan grabbed his shirt. Not hard, just enough that Anxiety understood that he wanted him to stay.  
Logan looked over at Roman for a brief second, who seemed to have calmed down just a little thanks to Patton’s help. Neither of them seemed to pay any mind to Anxiety or Logan.  
“I’m aware that this situation might be a bit…bad for you, but I’m sure we can talk some sense into him.” Logan pushed his glasses back up a bit, looking a bit tired. “But I do agree that this shouting does not make us go anywhere. I have no idea where he’s getting these ideas from and to be fair, I do not believe that they’re true. He does have a habit of hanging out with a rather…suspicious looking unknown side. If you’re going to go through with your proposal, then I’d suggest looking more into him.”  
Anxiety nodded, swallowing nervously as he looked over at Roman with alarm. “Did you know what this guy looked like?” he looked back at Logan, seeming almost scared of the answer he might get.  
“I didn’t get that much of a look, but I do believe I saw what appeared to be scales on his face.”  
Logan contemplated his words, searching his memory to see what else he could provide, but looked at Anxiety with an odd look. “Anxiety, are you okay? Do you happen to know this side?” he asked, seeming worried.  
Anxiety sighed, almost biting his lip as he looked back at Roman, face somehow looking even paler than before.  
“I’m afraid I do. And if what you’re saying is right, then I have a very bad feeling about this…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know it has been ages since I last updated this story and I'm really sorry for those who were enjoying this and looking forward to an update on this.  
> To be perfectly honest, I wasn't quite sure if this chapter lived up to my standard and as such, it ended up sitting on my laptop while a lot of other stuff happened around me.  
> But the good news is, I think I finally can continue this again! And after sitting in there for so long, it seems it only needed a couple tweaks and then it was just right! A bit short, but to but hey, it's something.  
> I'm gonna kick my ass into writing mode once more and get this story out, because I need to remember just how much I used to love writing!  
> Love you all! <3


	7. Stagefright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to be going fine, till one day, they aren't. One day that Roman would never forget.

Even though Roman had seemed almost fixated on Anxiety, he seemed to almost forget about him in a matter of days. What had happened? Thomas was starting to get interested in theatre and as such, Roman was all too distracted with keeping him motivated to work hard and memorize lines for his first upcoming play. At first, the others were confused but welcomed the change. Especially Anxiety, who still had a hard time adjusting to his new job and to his new self in general.  
For the most part, he still preferred to stay by himself, but he did occasionally pop in to check what was going on before settling down with Patton in what he was doing. He even started to spend a bit of time with Logan, but it seemed like he had a harder time reading him than Patton, which made for some awkward moments.  
Even Roman was starting to be a bit kinder to Anxiety, albeit still with a couple grimaces here and there and the occasional insult. But that could also be that he was just too focused on the play to do much else.  
But one day, that seemed to change for the worse.  
  
The day had started out normal, disregarding the static excitement in the air. It was the day for the audition and Roman had not been able to shut up for days on end. He had gushed the play to anyone who would even be moderately willing to listen and even those who didn’t.  
How perfect the role was, how good the songs were, how good the story was, how great the stage must be and how much he had made Thomas practice till his voice started to hurt. The last one seemed to annoy him as he was scared that Thomas could be too hoarse to even say the lines correctly.  
“It must be perfect! I’ve put too much work into this to screw up now! And you commoners better not interfere!” had been his first words that morning as he walked in with coffee in his hand, looking rather dishevelled as opposed to his normal look.  
“Well good morning to you too, Roman.” Logan had replied, not very good at hiding his annoyance, but it seemed that Roman was too worked up to even care. For a moment they both gave each other a stare, almost like they had a silent conversation, Logan’s annoyed look growing more obvious by the second.  
A moment later, a tired Patton joined them, hiding a yawn behind his hand.  
“Morning” he mumbled as he walked past the two to get breakfast, his glasses almost slipping off his face. Out of the three, only Logan looked like he was actually prepared for the day, being used to waking up at this time of day while the others weren’t.  
“How can you stand being awake this early, Logan?! I feel like Scar being fed to the hyenas!” Roman protested, trying to fix his messy appearance as he yawned.  
“Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed up till 2 am watching Sleeping Beauty if you knew you had to wake up early. This-“  
“Save your monologue for later, specs. It’s way too early for this!” he pouted. “Also it was The Little Mermaid, not Sleeping Beauty.”  
Logan shrugged. “Both are Disney movies about young women falling for men they barely know.” He said, ignoring the done look on Roman’s face.  
  
Silence fell over them, the only sound being the clinking of Patton eating his cereal while trying his best to ignore the two others.  
Then said silence was broken as Roman seemed to realize something.  
“Oh no! I forgot the script in my room! I need to make sure I don’t forget anything!” he shouted as he ran for his room.  
“You’ve been practising non-stop, Roman! How would you even-“  
Logan’s complaint was cut off by the sound of a scream before Roman bolted out of his room with papers flying after him.  
“My mental copy of the script is gone!! It’s not in my room!!” Roman’s voice was shaking, but it was unclear if it was in panic or anger. Possibly both. His eyes dashed around the room as if hoping that he had just placed it somewhere else.  
“Please try to keep calm, Roman! I’m sure you just misplaced it and find it soon” Patton tried, but his soothing didn’t seem to work as the creative side practically flew into the next room.

Roman kept running around, looking frantically for his script but to no avail. There was no sign of the darn thing and instead, he kept finding other things he had been looking for. A bracelet he’d lost. One of Patton’s old plushies. Lots of old pens. Even one of Logan’s ties which quickly went into the washer. But no script.  
At this point, Roman was close to crying. Because if he didn’t have it, Thomas wouldn’t have the lines in his mind and be able to do them correctly.  
Patton had tried to help and even got Logan to help them look, even though he looked like he had better things to do.  
  
But then, Roman passed by a room he’d never seen before, which was a surprise because he was the one who practically made the mind space. He knew every little nook and cranny. And yet, he didn’t ever remember making this room.  
It looked like a stage! And a big one at that!  
Maybe he had made it earlier and just forgotten? No, surely he’d remember making something this big, right?  
Maybe the script was in there?  
He walked in and looked for a switch to turn the lights on. For a while he fumbled in the dark, almost falling over his own feet a few times. Then he finally found it and as it turned on, he got blinded for a moment. He swore he almost saw someone on the other side of the stage. But that couldn’t be right.  
It could. Because on the other side of the stage was…  
“Anxiety? What are you doing in here?” he asked, surprised to see the anxious trait of all people. He tried to reach for his sword before remembering, he wasn’t in his normal clothes.  
Anxiety shrugged. “I was looking for a quiet place and this happened to be it. Got a problem with that, princey?” he said, almost sounding like he was challenging Roman.  
  
“Oh I have a few problems with it alright!” he shouted, changing into his more princely attire, complete with his sword.  
“You took Caution away and despite the fact I liked that guy, at least he wasn’t…this! But you? You’re just a monster! You may act like us, but you’re certainly not one of us! The others may think you’re just lost, but I know better! You’re always in the way of letting Thomas be happy!! He doesn’t need someone like you to hold him back from his dream, his hopes, his future!” he spluttered, shaking as he glared at Anxiety, who wasn’t even looking at him.  
“Are you even listening to me!? I know what you do! You’re going to make everything a problem just because you think it’s ‘dangerous’ and that Thomas shouldn’t be allowed to do anything! No one wants you here, and I’m sure that if the others knew what kind of monster you really are, they’ll be quick to end their little peace with you!” Roman got closer to Anxiety, almost standing right in front of him. And yet, he refused to look at him, looking down.  
Roman let out a growl. “Are you just ignoring me? Do you have nothing to say? Or is it because you know I’m right?”  
With that last sentence, Anxiety finally looked up. A strange grimace crossed his face for a moment before he smirked.  
Roman backed slightly, almost fearing that the anxious trait was going to attack him. “What are you doing?” he said, holding his sword in front of him in case Anxiety was going to charge at him.

  
A strange sound started to come out of Anxiety and for a moment, Roman thought he was coughing. But as the sound got louder, he realized that Anxiety was laughing. A dark laugh as he looked at the creative side, who rightfully stared back at him perplexed. “You’re right, princey. I’m just a monster who does everything it can to stop you. Believe me, I still don’t understand how Logan and Patton can even stand to be around me. They probably wouldn’t be if they truly knew what I do. And it’s what I’m doing right now.” He said, his voice steady as he opened his hoodie and removed a small collection of papers from the inside.  
Roman let out a gasp as he looked at it in Anxiety’s hand. “You- you stole it?!” he mouthed, in shock at what he was seeing.  
“Yes, I did. I know what is best for Thomas and this? This isn’t good for him.” Anxiety replied, looking almost bored, as if this wasn’t a big deal. “Not that he’ll have to worry about this anymore, because I will not allow him to put himself in danger just because of you.”  
The anxious trait seemed to almost become one with the shadows behind him as he turned on his heels and walked out through a door behind him. The last thing the royal side saw before the door closed, was the script in Anxiety’s hand.  
  
For a moment, Roman just stood on the stage with his mouth open and in shock. But then, he ran to the door Anxiety had walked out of.  
Only to find, that it was locked. He ran to the other door. Locked. Then he tried to sink out of the room. But he couldn’t. No matter how much he concentrated on being in his own room, nothing happened.  
He was trapped.  
He was without the script.  
Thomas needed him so he could give him the courage to go on stage for the first time!  
And he couldn’t do anything but pounce on the door and hope someone else found him in time for him to confront Anxiety and get the script back.  
But a sinking feeling of fear told him that it was already too late. There was no shadow of a doubt.  
Thomas would not show up at the audition and they were all going to blame him.  
  
Anxiety had won.  
For now. But he would never forgive or forget this day. Never.


End file.
